youre lurking in front of me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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