Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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