pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
