She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
