Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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