i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
