once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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