these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
