I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
