DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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