Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize