dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
