i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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