hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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