and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
