He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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