I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
