I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
sex in a hospital.. check
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
