had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
