This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
