Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
