you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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