I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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