you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize