I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
