Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
