we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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