Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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