We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
