..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
