i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
