haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
