Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
