My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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