Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
