if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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