Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
