Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
