Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
