people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
