but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
