All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
