I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize