Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
