i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
