Nicole vs. Life
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she told me i tasted like america
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
