Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
