I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize