Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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