eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just google imaged poop.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
