'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
