Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
