I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
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I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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