I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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