We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
