oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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