Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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