If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Farmville is her only friend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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