i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
