i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
