He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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