I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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