drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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