I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
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I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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