Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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