I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
