And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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