Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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