Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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