How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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